Political Platform

This page is the OFFICIAL campaign page for Crawfish, 2016 Presidential Nominee and harbinger of doom for Gov. Bobby Jindal, apparent candidate for the presidency. Crawfish believes that it can restore this country to greatness.

Why should you vote for Crawfish?

Crawfish is not Bobby Jindal.

Crawfish believes that education is generally a pretty important thing.

Crawfish believes that ISIS is bad.

Crawfish has never missed an episode of Game of Thrones, but that doesn’t mean that Crawfish doesn’t believe in women’s rights!

Crawfish doesn’t really have an opinion on big banks, because it is just a humble ol’ crawfish and doesn’t feel comfortable stating an uneducated opinion.

Crawfish believes that introducing Texas Pete to Louisiana restaurants is a dangerous overreach of federal powers and a severe blow to the Louisianian economy, which thrives on Crystal.

Crawfish believes in rights for all races, because Crawfish is all of us.

Crawfish believes that George Takei is probably just as good at parenting as Kim Kardashian.

And again, Crawfish is NOT Bobby Jindal, which really, is reason enough.

Inquiries? PresidentCrawfish@gmail.com.
Tweet at us: @Crawfish2016